Posted in Book Stuff

Do You Love All Your Parts?

It’s Valentine’s Day, the day of love–and so I have to ask: do you love your toes, your eyes, your brows, your butt, your belly, your intestines, your femors, your ribcage, your waist, your spleen, your skin (which in some kids’ lexicon refers as well to chesty bits)?

What about your creativity–that’s not too bad, eh? Or your kindness? Your laughter? Oh, but how about your anger, your unreasoning terrors, your regret, your whininess?

This Valentine’s Day, let’s spread the love around, not only to the cute, but to all parts, physical, mental or emotional. I suspect that’s what we all want from each other: to be wholly accepted and embraced.

And it’s possible. I’ve seen it, for example, in the instance of people with DID (dissociative identity disorder aka multiple personalities) who are able to love a singleton even though singletons are so different–being strangely deluded that they are consistent. I mean as if! Doesn’t everyone have parts? But still, they are able to love those singletons with all their hearts.

And I’ve seen this, too: singletons, despite their clinging to the illusion of permanence and continuity, are able to love with all their hearts their partners who are DID. Not just the parts that are cute, but all of them, the bristly parts, the distrustful ones, the super-competent and bossy parts, the motherly, the curious, the wide-eyed, the ones with a wicked sense of humour.

And they are loved back, those singletons, in return with a deep understanding of how the best parts of a person, the strongest, can be the ones most strange. Even in singletons.

Happy Valentine’s Day dear ones–all of you–every sort of part–in every sort of person.

Toes are beautiful too.

And here I want to add a shout-out and thank you to Emily Rosenbaum who inspired this post with a review of Web of Angels that focuses on the universal.



Lilian is the author of Web of Angels, a novel about a mom with DID (multiple personalities). She's also the author of the historical novels, The River Midnight and The Singing Fire, about secrets, friendship and motherhood in 19th century Poland and London.

2 thoughts on “Do You Love All Your Parts?

  1. What a lovely thought. I am highly selective about the parts of myself I like, and there’s quite a lot I’ll barely talk to! I l think this is a very nice way of spreading the Valentine love around.

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