Posted in Writing Life

*Mom’s Day for the Heroes

This is for all the moms who do better for their children than was done for them: you are heroes.

This is for all the moms who didn’t marry a guy like their brutal dad, but instead chose someone whose hands are gentle: you are heroes.

This is for all the moms who are wincing today, who aren’t buying cards or flowers, whose own mothers let them take the brunt of domestic violence, who looked at them with distaste, who hurt them, and yet do not pass that legacy onto their children, instead doing their best to nurture their children, body mind and soul: you are heroes.

This is for all the moms who go to a new country to make a better life for their kids even though they will never fully be at home there, doing menial and unskilled work, keeping long hours in shops, polite to people who have no idea of their true talents and intelligence: you are heroes.

This is for all the moms whose kids mystify them with their desires and dreams but tell them to go for it: you are heroes.

This is for all the moms who, despite all of the above, one day decide to go for their own dreams, to go back to school, to invest in their own businesses, to write or paint or dance their truth: you are heroes and your light will shine down through the generations to show the way for other heroes.

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Lilian is the author of Web of Angels, a novel about a mom with DID (multiple personalities). She's also the author of the historical novels, The River Midnight and The Singing Fire, about secrets, friendship and motherhood in 19th century Poland and London.

11 thoughts on “*Mom’s Day for the Heroes

  1. Hear hear. Thanks for a lovely post, Lilian. I love the fierceness of mother love: that nothing but the best will do, even if it is just the best love rather than the best stuff.

    I love your line about mothers in another country. I’m lucky enough to live in a country where my skills are recognised, more or less, but it’s not my homeland and I’m here because I believe it’s best for my children. I never for a moment thought that it was a courageous or special thing to do, just the obvious thing, but it’s nice to hear that maybe it is.

    So thanks for saying that too.

  2. I think I’ll have to print this out and stick it in my IVF diary – it’s a bit of a battle cry to me, and a reminder that I’ve done the right thing in getting away from the woman who did not do right by her kids. Thanks – and Happy Mother’s Day to you. xx

    1. Di, you absolutely did the right thing. I’ve seen people who couldn’t let go of their abusive parents, needing to hang onto the illusion of denial, needing to hang onto the hope that something would change and they could get what they never did, which is their own choice. But when they have children of their own, that choice visits the toxicity onto the next generation.

  3. Yes, exactly. I do understand people wanting to believe things will change and get better, I went back for a long time too, but when nothing changes and the relationship is destructive, I really believe people have a duty to themselves and their own family to get out. Breathe the clean air long enough and the toxins start to fade.

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