Winter seems long at this time of year, when spring is close, but not close enough, snow, sleet, grey skies seemingly endless. My spirits are low, my energy too. When I feel like flinging my computer through the window (without opening it first), it’s time for a change.
I need a break–a break from waiting for news about my book, which ought to have come a month ago. This has been a tough process over the course of years and years, starting again from scratch more than once, waiting for news–from my agent, from publishers–more than once.
I need a break from doing things because I should–the right thing, the responsible thing, even the necessary. I need a break from hustling my kids off to school, nagging them to brush teeth, get dressed, get to bed when all I want to do is enjoy their company for the pure pleasure of it.
Thank God–for surely it’s divinely ordained–March break is upon us. I want to read great and gripping books, go out with A (just the 2 of us, what a concept), paint water colours with my kids, sew a hammock for stuffed animals, and walk off the winter blues.
In fact, I think I’ll start today. What do you need a break from?
PS–there’s a mysterious leak in the basement now.
What do I need a break from? Good question. I’m going to have to think about this for a bit, but my first (unthought) answer is that I need a break from pain and from always trying to forestall pain even when I’m not actively in it. Have you read litlove’s post on Siddhartha? I’m sure you have by now. It’s that I suppose. I can’t stop the pain but I want to find a way to manage the suffering it causes.
Yes, I have read it and have downloaded Siddhartha from Gutenberg though I have started it yet. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, Mary. I hope that it eases for you.
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Poor Mary – do hope you feel better soon. I have this theory that about now, all the goodness we store in our systems over the warm and sunny summer months is finally drained out of our bodies, and we’re very much at risk of illness and low spirits. We need the sun to return! But in the meantime, a break sounds just perfect. It’s the last week of term here and I cannot wait for it all to end. I will be very glad to see the back of boring dissertations and student problems for a little while!
Litlove, I woke up this morning to sun, and it makes such a difference emotionally and physically.